By: Felice Derkinderen

In 2018 I read Noor Bongers’ reflections on Lilith and the awakening of feminine power. Her approach touched me deeply, yet it took years before I felt that I could contact her, and contributie to her research. Guiding my orientation here is an archetype I chose from Rider-Waite’s Tarot, Strength.

No-one really knows what the outcome will be of the profound social changes that are currently taking place. Yet it is possible to view the process from within, to see where it affects us. How are feminine values meaningful today, for both men and women? Do we dare to get to know and show ourselves more deeply? Do we dare to really feel and question injustice? What primal forces might that awaken? Can we find the courage to speak?

This article could be your passport to a journey within, to discover these qualities within yourself, both feminine and masculine, in order to jointly shape the world in peace.

reading time 9 minutes
 

 

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Discovering primal power

Let’s start with primal power. The source of love, creation, anger, and desire. We often fear it. It seems easier – perhaps safer – to cut ourselves off from it and keep it under control. The difficulty, however, is that primal energies cannot simply be locked away, since they are also the source of our pure zest for life, our creative power and the ability to express ourselves.

Which brings us to leonine courage. The anger or fury that wells up in us spontaneously to protect ourselves and others; the courage to stand up and speak out, without fear. To expose injustice. Anger evokes the courage to follow our own path and to protect what we love. And grief allows us to let go, to open our hearts. To discover love beyond grief.

The card ‘Strength’, the source of this exploration, shows a woman reaching out to a lion, who allows her to touch him. Through understanding and dedication, we can learn to know our raw potential better, and develop the courage to be ourselves – amid all of our feelings, wounds and experiences.  Because only when connected to our true nature are we enabled to share our deepest gifts.

 

  
Beyond dualism

The Tarot is a system of philosophy that allows for the paradoxical aspects of life. Personal growth lies in learning to value the contradictions within ourselves. After all, it’s only possible to truly know something if we also have also experienced its opposite. The ‘Strength’ archetype, for example, provides insight into weakness and victimhood, as well as healing and inner strength. For me, the image on this card is deeply connected to Lilith’s story. Adam’s first wife, who wanted to be his equal, but was not accepted as such by him. In my view, Lilith symbolizes a rejected, maladjusted side of ourselves. By losing contact with her, we have also lost contact with our instinctive power and innate conscience.

Who is this woman depicted on the card? She seems to possess a magical power, allowing the untamed and wild to open up to and connect with her. Who is she, who with her own bare hands opens the jaws of the lion without being swallowed up, because she does not abuse the power accessible to her?

 

Looking deeper, to really see

Perhaps she is a shaman who instinctively knows what heals. Certainly, she has an open, understanding heart and a deep devotion to the natural world. She knows the mystery of life and the cycles of nature; knows that death also gives rise to new life, and that every living being has a unique role in the world. That everything is connected, and that every individual good deed contributes to collective healing.

Because of her wisdom, cosmic knowledge and pure heart, animals accept her and eat from her hand. She is a primal woman who dares to look her lion in the mouth and, if necessary, to examine the undigested remains of what he last swallowed. She is powerful in her gentleness. She fearlessly seduces him into opening up even further. Her attentive gaze shows him that he is truly seen, and something in him cannot resist the desire to completely surrender to her soft, assertive touch. She knows he longs to reveal his deepest feelings, to be open and true, and to be fully received. It is also her own desire. With her own bare hands, she wants to contact her physicality, her animal soul, and her true nature. 

   

By observing intently, she honours him, and because he surrenders completely to her, they flow together in an infinite loop of opening and receiving that nourishes both. She has no intention of changing his animal nature and is not disturbed by it. On the contrary, her gentle hands allow him to open up even more, so that she too can be fully received. She merges with the King of the Animal Realm. They find each other in the deep desire to be fully themselves, and truly met by the other.

The ‘Strength’ card is about experiencing – or indeed lacking – a heart connection. Our heart provides an essential key to discerning what is true. The heart connection allows us to transcend duality and speak our truth passionately, yet gently; without having to roar. The number 8 and the infinity sign above the woman’s head indicate the central connection, where opposites cross over and meet. We can also see this in the movement between the lion and the woman. The centre forms a turning point: between high and low, between spiritual and instinctive energy. Between heart and belly. Which, indeed, requires alignment on both sides. After all, she can’t force him to open up, and neither can he force her to receive him.

Can we find each other again, in spite of the sharp duality in today’s society? Can we learn to listen more deeply to each other, and develop the capacity to talk to each other about what really matters, about what drives us? Is it possible to reconnect by understanding each other’s heart, our passionate selves?
 
 

Wildness and holiness

When we can connect our wild, instinctive nature (Lilith) with our conscious, thinking mind (Adam) – when we completely, heartfully accept ourselves – a space is created in which vulnerability can become strength and vice versa, in a loop that brings both together. Contrary to what the Church Fathers preached, wildness and holiness are not mutually exclusive. Where two extremes are brought together, a connection is created that honours both the divine and the worldly. Objectivity achieved through mindful contemplation, and merging through heartful connection. Only when knowledge and consciousness are brought together with intuition and instinct, something new and fresh can arise. It is the creative principle itself. 

One particular aspect of the card is that here, the feminine acts purposefully and penetratingly from above, and the masculine below opens in surrender. It is a reversal of how the ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are usually described.

 

Encounter with the dark

Often, we are estranged from our deeper parts. It happens because of having to adapt to the world, at the expense of ourselves, our souls. For fear of being rejected, not belonging. Self-betrayal, out of the dire necessity for survival. Or rejection, because of our individuality. An entire history of exclusion, rejection, and persecution lies behind us, when deviation from the required norm was dearly paid for -sometimes even with death. The result is frequently a collective discomfort with authenticity, or with behaviour considered unacceptable. Simply for being unashamed of letting ourselves be seen, purely, as we are. Conforming often seems easier. After all, we all want to feel loved. And yet, how often does that entail betraying ourselves or those who allow us to see their vulnerability?

Our (unconscious) avoidance of deviation from the norm is inherent in the archetype of the lady with the lion. And therefore also our fear of what is pure, raw, and authentic. While that is being precisely what we long for.

Would we rather live in denial than face the instinctual? Perhaps we believe we won’t be able to resist the power that comes with it. Or maybe we’re afraid of being held hostage by our fear or overcome by our anger. And once seen, we can no longer deny it. So, looking into the jaws of the beast entails taking personal responsibility for our primal power. It takes courage to contact that which lives in the shadows, not yet illuminated by the light of our consciousness. But somewhere in that darkness also lies our deepest potential. Awaiting our discovery.

   

The most beautiful flower is rooted deep in the mud

A beautiful metaphor for inner growth is the Lotus flower. Rooted deep in the cool mud, she reaches up to full maturity. Her leaves open one by one in the bright heat of the sun, until from deep within, the pistil arises and reveals itself. Only through connection with the deep water and earth below can she receive the air and sunshine above, and reveal herself. And that’s how it is with us.

Maybe we’re no longer in contact with our primal physicality and deny its impulses. We often live in our heads. “Primal power? That’s something for primitive folk, who are not yet civilized!” But in truth, we’ve probably banished these parts of ourselves to our unconscious, and there’s even a good chance we judge them in others, or even fight against them.

Suppression of deep feelings often leads to depression or conversely, to uncontrollable outbreaks. Perhaps we unconsciously act them out through insatiable needs, because we don’t understand the source of our hunger. Understanding this shadow side of ourselves is the beginning of becoming whole, of achieving (inner) peace.
   
 

Conscious action

Recognizing our impulses is a great thing. After all, they have an enormous influence on our thoughts and actions, whether we are aware of that or not. The art is to learn how to express them lovingly and constructively. True civilization comes from within, as a person who acts in accordance with his or her deepest values, who doesn’t rely on rules imposed from outside. But how do we get in touch with those deeper impulses, those ‘unpolished’ parts, without being overpowered by them?

 

Speaking, beyond reason

Our inner lion often roars heartbreakingly to encourage us to release primal, long-hidden feelings. To respond to the deep desire to open our hearts. To let go of control, so that sadness, powerlessness and anger can be released, and we tell the truth, from our innermost being. Feeling and understanding our deepest impulses brings them back into proportion. Otherwise, we risk repeating ourselves, over and over again. But overcoming compulsiveness requires gaining awareness; the ability to turn inward, to understand where we’re putting our attention. And how that is reflected in our actions.

 

Power without manipulation

Understanding the impact and consequences of our actions demands both empathy (the Lady) and a grounded, clear presence (the Lion). This creates a shared responsibility in which openness and honesty prevail. Because to what extent could your pain and fear restrict someone else’s freedom of action? And when does someone else’s freedom threaten your own safety? When does victimhood turn into perpetration?

   

Beyond vulnerability

As a midwife of the soul, the woman on the ‘Strength’ card mediates between herself and the lion, between above and below. She symbolizes the primal feminine principle that can unite opposites (within herself). To look with compassion at what is strange to us; that which we find difficult to comprehend. She cherishes the wild, pure, and non-conformist, and lovingly guides it. Contrary to what we were told it should be, she inspires us to investigate our inner world and see what really drives us, where our passion lies. Held by her loving gaze and gentle hands, the desire to reveal our depth is greater than our fear of keeping it hidden. To finally see a deeper truth about ourselves and be able to guide it. Because all desires come down to one sole desire: to know our true nature.

Even though, when we see our own judgment reflected in her eyes, we are confronted with feelings of shame, anger, and guilt. As a traumatized child who thinks it will die if history repeats itself, and therefore hesitates in fear. The journey inward is risky. Can we do it, as adults? Are we mature enough to take possession of our own shadows? Can we embrace what we find beastly and ugly about ourselves?
 
 

Inner victory

Our soul continually seeks healing through reliving experiences, over and over again. It is we who, with forgiveness and compassion, allow healing to take place. Without this reflection we fall back into being victims and perpetrators. Card number 8 represents a victory over ourselves. The ability to transform from within. By being in touch with our instincts, finding the courage to be who we are without shame. And to speak out.

Lilith, the Queen of Mirrors. She reflects that part of ourselves that we usually don’t allow ourselves to experience, and indeed, often project onto others. Do we dare to embrace Lilith, in complete surrender? Can we risk looking into the mirror of our true selves? It takes courage.

 

True feminine power

An awakened Lilith embodies her contradictions with feminine flexibility. Dancingly! Connected to all worlds, left, right, above, and below, she remains present. She doesn’t shy away. Dedicated to herself and others, she shows independence ànd loving connection – in everything she does.

We live in a time when we are learning to bring the knowledge we have acquired through our intellectual capacity back into contact with the natural laws of the earth. To find our place within the whole, and to understand the interdependence of everything again. The connection to our heart, our pain, and our desire, gives us the courage to reconnect everything that ought to be connected.

Periods of rest and reflection are crucial to create a safe space in which what really matters becomes visible. To be able to see that we are both perpetrators and victims in the overall situation. By managing both sides, we are able to act more consciously. That is the power of the 8. Experiencing and transforming our victimhood prevents us from becoming perpetrators, and can thus become our own, entirely personal contribution to world peace.

The time seems to have come for establishing authority over ourselves and developing a deep trust in our own nature. In diversity, both dark and light. We are now challenged – each at our own pain point – to take action for what we want to protect and create. The time for non-commitment, the assumption that freedom, security and connection are self-evident, is over.

There is a Lilith within all of us. She gently and powerfully orients our wild energies to where we most want to go: towards visibility, as who we really are.
 
Lilith has awakened.


Written for research platform Lilith Ontwaakt at the invitation of Noor Bongers.


Images
The card 'Strength' from the Rider-Waite Tarot
'Strength' by Walter Plitt
'Una and the Lion' by Briton Rivière
The card 'Strength' in the New Palladini Tarot
Photo collage, maker unknown